Post by sh on Feb 3, 2013 9:57:13 GMT -5
That's really nice karlsie, it's more than most people experience in their entire lives. I'm happy for you.
With a large enough dose of ayahuasca (3g ground p. harmala seeds + 1g powdered mimosa hostilis root bark is a high dose for me) I always slip into a dream-state, where I'm no longer aware of my self and the surroundings, and I really don't know what a "self" even is anymore. But the dream...it's filled with bright colours, vivid encounters with strange beings, and long stays in alien worlds. Every single experience feels like a lifetime to me, spent in some strange 'place' or space, where there is no trace of anything earthly or familiar at all.
I've learned to enjoy the experience very much. But the first time(s), I felt like an animal that's in the grip of death. I really felt that my "self" was dying, fading away, and I panicked and struggled really hard not to let go of my mind, 'cause I felt I was losing it for good. I felt I would stay like that forever, and no matter how much I tried to tell myself that the effect would eventually wear off, and that millions of people have experienced the same thing and returned unharmed, it was no use at all. I was like a frightened animal, no amount of reasoning could help me at all. Everything was morphing and dissolving and changing, and I mean everything. My thoughts would materialize in front of me and change shape, transform, and the next moment I wouldn't even recognize them. This effect, which I can't really explain or describe...the morphing and shape-changing and the incredible colors, patterns and details, is unique to the tryptamine family, and is the most intense with DMT IME. It is simply awesome; it twists you and turns you around so many times that you lose sight of everything you ever knew. And it's so beautiful...even today I can't help but feel awe at the indescribable beauty of it. It is hands down the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, and I can't even describe it!
I really hope you guys experience it at least once in your lifetime. It is so beautiful that you _will_ cry. There's a sense of agonizing longing coupled together with absolute freedom, and exquisite beauty together with all the sadness in the universe, that I have learned to equate with ayahuasca. I want to explode just thinking about it. It is truly awesome, unfathomable...
With a large enough dose of ayahuasca (3g ground p. harmala seeds + 1g powdered mimosa hostilis root bark is a high dose for me) I always slip into a dream-state, where I'm no longer aware of my self and the surroundings, and I really don't know what a "self" even is anymore. But the dream...it's filled with bright colours, vivid encounters with strange beings, and long stays in alien worlds. Every single experience feels like a lifetime to me, spent in some strange 'place' or space, where there is no trace of anything earthly or familiar at all.
I've learned to enjoy the experience very much. But the first time(s), I felt like an animal that's in the grip of death. I really felt that my "self" was dying, fading away, and I panicked and struggled really hard not to let go of my mind, 'cause I felt I was losing it for good. I felt I would stay like that forever, and no matter how much I tried to tell myself that the effect would eventually wear off, and that millions of people have experienced the same thing and returned unharmed, it was no use at all. I was like a frightened animal, no amount of reasoning could help me at all. Everything was morphing and dissolving and changing, and I mean everything. My thoughts would materialize in front of me and change shape, transform, and the next moment I wouldn't even recognize them. This effect, which I can't really explain or describe...the morphing and shape-changing and the incredible colors, patterns and details, is unique to the tryptamine family, and is the most intense with DMT IME. It is simply awesome; it twists you and turns you around so many times that you lose sight of everything you ever knew. And it's so beautiful...even today I can't help but feel awe at the indescribable beauty of it. It is hands down the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, and I can't even describe it!
I really hope you guys experience it at least once in your lifetime. It is so beautiful that you _will_ cry. There's a sense of agonizing longing coupled together with absolute freedom, and exquisite beauty together with all the sadness in the universe, that I have learned to equate with ayahuasca. I want to explode just thinking about it. It is truly awesome, unfathomable...