Excerpt from 'Beny Stygian' Vi meets Nigel, again

[kimseinna]

"Well, if it isn't Muffy the Vampire layer." Nigel sneered. A fang actually curled over his lower lip. Disgust showing on his pale face.
"Ah, Nigel. Or, is it Fairy Fang now?" Vi returned his sneer with a smirk. "Knick a dick lately? You do know if you hit one of those veins, you could kill someone."
"Black cat calling the spilled salt unlucky are we? There are veins and arteries where you go too, dear." Nigel ignored Beny's pleading look. He was well aware that Emily was just in the next room.
Vi turned her attention to Beny standing next to Nigel. She could read the look on Beny's face plainly. It was screaming, 'wake my kid up with your bickering and I'll make it painful for both of you'. So, she decided to call it a truce; sort of.
"Let's not do this here, Nigel. I'm sure you have so many things to do before you go out for the evening." Just one last shot, and she would stop. "Or, did you want to go out looking like 'dead Opie Taylor'. Really, darling, orange hair on a dead fish is so unattractive."
She was baiting him, the bitch. No, he needed this job and he adored being Nanny to little Em. But, god, he hated the lesbian whore standing before him. Oh, just one more dig. What could it hurt? Beny wouldn't fire him. She adored him. He hoped.
"Oh don't be jealous, Muff. I can't help it if I look more like a woman than you. And, I'm more man than you'll ever be." With that, Nigel tossed his nose in the air, whirled around, and sashayed out of the room like a grand diva.
Beny watched as her live-in, night-time nanny and best friend stalk/waltzed out of the room. Having Vi as a temporary partner had really put a strain on their relationship. If only she'd known sooner the two had met before and hated each other on sight.
"How can you stand having that bloodsucking faggot live with you?" Vi asked.
"Same reason I can stand having a bloodsucking lesbo for a partner." Beny shrugged as Vi fixed an icy glare on her. "Sheath the claws, Vi. We both know who'd win the fight."

[karlsie]

I love the perspective; a heterosexual playing mediator for rivaling homosexual vampires. The real interest is in the mediator, as it's a common ground viewpoint. It seems the more a person is to accept friends with conflicting views, the more that person finds him/herself in the middle, running messages from both sides of the opposition, which is a position many people can identify with. Great job. It makes me eager to learn more about Nigel, Vi and battered Beny in the middle.

[kimseinna]

This is supposed to be a comic-relief sort of situation for the novel. Bethany 'Beny' Stygian is a federal marshall ( yes, like Anita Blake...sigh, unfortunately) who has two live-in nannies because she's a single mother. Nigel is the nightshift nanny who happens to be a homosexual vamp. I remembered Prince Louie from WN and have always adored him. I wanted to build Nigel's character after him; no insult intended. Vi; short for Violet, is also a fed marshall. She'd been temporarily teamed with Beny due to an influx of really bad stuff happening on Beny's turf. Vi is also homosexual. Only she tends to be on the opposite pendulum of the scene than Nigel.
Beny is constantly being caught between the two whenever they meet throughout the novel. It isn't pretty. Of course, Beny has this 'leave your issues at home with the tissues' attitude anyway that seems to work well within the story. She's a tough cookie that I originally had decided to keep that way, but changed my mind. Everyone should have that one weakness, hers happens to be her four year old daughter, Emily. What makes that part really kind of hard to deal with is the fact that Em is the product of rape. The rape being the catalyst for Beny's foray into Law enforcement. I went with a paranormal side too that I can only hope people aren't too sick of seeing.

[The Late Mitchell Warren]

Excellent!

[karlsie]

I don't think people are sick of paranormal activities; only tired of the stereotyped presentation. My personal feelings are that the shroud should be taken off paranormal concepts. Since my strongest genre is sci-fi, the first illustration that comes to my mind is the Dunes series; in fact any work by Frank Herbert. He perceived a future where psychic activity is the norm, where mentats control matter by their will alone, and a drug called "spice" enhances the ability to mentally fold space and travel.

I think paranormal activity in a story that includes vampires would be normal. Vampires are the undead, maintaining their unnatural lives by drinking the blood of their victims; essentially, by many religious beliefs; drinking their spirits. This makes me wonder why vampires don't become schizophrenic. Anyway, you've put together a good recipe for your novel; protagonists, worthy adversaries, conflict and human motivations. This is the ground work for any good story, regardless of genre.