Joke thread

[asiaticdarkperson]

This joke's been spreading through email over here.. (Maybe you have to be Iranian to get it, maybe not. Arabs would probably take offense at this though.)

So, first there's two pictures of extremely hot, extremely successful-looking Jewish women and it reads something like "First, god told Moses to choose his people."

Then there's pictures of two gorgeous blonde Christian women and it reads "Next, god told Jesus to choose his flock."

And last but not least there's a picture of a large group of women completely covered under burqas and it reads "Everyone not chosen by Moses and Jesus was left for Muhamad. So, Muhamad took one look at his group and cried out: for god's sake cover yourselves up!!"

HA HA HA!!~!@#%

[asiaticdarkperson]

I received this email today.

The Shamanic Path to Spiritual Abundance: Indigenous Techniques for Entering the Flow of Life


Host: Itzhak Beery
Starts January 12

Starting this Saturday, January 12, you have the rare opportunity to learn from some of the world's leading experts on the topics of shamanism and spiritual abundance: Itzhak Beery, Sandra Ingerman, John Perkins, Marti Spiegelman, Christina Pratt, John Lockley, and Lewis Mehl-Madrona. This Evolver Intensives course will give you the context and tools you need to bring healthy shamanic practices into your daily life, helping you to invite in the kind of personal prosperity you really need.

Join Itzhak Beery, renowned healer and publisher of ShamanPortal.org, for this 6-part live, interactive video course, "The Shamanic Path to Spiritual Abundance: Indigenous Techniques for Entering the Flow of Life". This innovative course will introduce you to the shamanic mysteries of attracting the energies and allies necessary to bring you true fulfillment and satisfaction. The subject is enlivening and fascinating. You can even do this with friends, invite them to your place on Saturday to take the course with you, and make a group study out of it!

Itzhak and his visionary guests will talk about the shamanic practices that call in abundance of both a material and spiritual nature, and why balancing the two is crucial. The guests will share shamanic techniques that they apply in their own lives, and discuss indigenous knowledge that had been kept secret for centuries. These courses use online video technology, which makes these the conversations feel live and immediate as you connect with visionary thought leaders in the comfort of your own home.

In this course you will learn tools and methods to remove those blockages, including: energy extraction, soul retrieval, blessings, prayers, shamanic journeys, and more. You will be able to tap into the flow of the universal energy of giving and receiving, and learn to deepen your connection to life's energizing flow. Best of all, you will gain a new perspective on your life, and how to say "yes" to the abundant opportunities that greet you daily.

• Discover the shamanic "universal laws of prosperity" and how to put them to work for you.
•Learn how to identify what resonates within your soul so you can live a life of abundance and fulfillment.
•Realize the truth of what abundance means for you, personally, and how to attract it.
•Encounter ancient techniques for shamanic journeying into the spirit realm.
•Learn how to remove the specific blocks that keep you from inviting success, peace, and tranquility into your life.


Itzhak Beery is a shamanic healer and teacher who practices regularly throughout the USA, Florence, Zurich, Amsterdam, Istanbul, Israel and Hawaii. He is the publisher of ShamanPortal.org, the most popular shamanic site on the Web. Join Itzhak and his guests for this special webinar series and begin your own walk down the shamanic path to spiritual abundance.

To find out more, please visit: evolverintensives.com/upcoming/shamanic-path-to-spiritual-abundance.html


About the Evolver Intensives

Life-changing ideas acquire a deeper resonance when encountered through the live presentation of an inspiring teacher. Through the Evolver Intensives, you can meet some of the most brilliant and pioneering thinkers of our time directly over the Internet, so you can experience them as if you were together in the same room.

Using state-of-the-art video streaming technology, we broadcast live lectures and discussions from around the world to your laptop. And you can participate in the discussion, ask questions to the course leaders, and share your thoughts with fellow students. All you need is a broadband connection and a web browser -- you don't have to download or install any software. If you can watch videos on YouTube, you can participate in an Evolver Intensives course.

To learn more, visit: www.evolverintensives.com



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All week I've been talking about clueless shitheads who are giving mystical philosophies a bad name. Well, here they are in the flesh, spreading their bullshit, deluding the minds of impressionable youth.