More sex (don't read if you don't like sex)

[asiaticdarkperson]

In certain areas of Iran, namely the parts bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan, young people's marriages are decided and arranged entirely by the parents. It is their custom that boys should be married by the time they are 18, and girls 15.

Usually a boy is given a wife when he is 15-16, and his wife is very often a 13 year old girl.

These people believe that this way the couple will become playmates, friends and also lovers. They say that the couples usually establish such a deep bond as to be virtually unbreakable. Middle-aged men say that they themselves grew up together with their wife, their partner. And they'll grow old with her too.

Esoterically speaking, these people have managed to bind and tame the spirit of love. The vast majority of their marriages result in love. The couples learn to face the world as one.

When you meet these people you notice that the husband and wife are concerned for eachother just as they are concerned for themselves, if not more so. They can't imagine their life without eachother; when they are apart they pine and long for eachother. If they are separated for too long, they become acutely depressed. If one of them gets hurt, the other feels the pain also. They take joy in pleasuring eachother. These are all the symptoms of love IMO.

I know that as a western man I feel it's wrong to arrange marriages, especially between teen children. I definitely don't feel right about 13 year old girls having sex. But then I think, 13 year old girls are having sex all over america; many of them with multiple partners.

I know that high school kids are engaging in orgies, with plenty of alcohol and drugs involved. I know because I was a kid just a few years ago.

So, It seems we feel it's right for 13 year old girls to be having sex with multiple partners.. but we don't feel right about what happens in pakistan, afghanistan and iran.. we say human rights are being violated in these countries.. we shout "WOMEN'S RIGHTS!!!"

I really feel what is happening here in these villages is beautiful. The love of a teenage couple is so very pure, so innocent.. their feeling for eachother is untainted companionship, friendship.

But I really don't think there is any beauty in what's happening in the west. Premature sexualization the way it's happening to american children is unfair and disgusting. I think children deserve to grow up without the burden of sexual baggage.

[asiaticdarkperson]

And what's more is, in these particular parts of the middle east, the 16 year old boy already has his own orchard or piece of land to cultivate, or alternatively his flock of sheep and goats. So, by age 18 he is already an independent man who supports himself and his wife.

And 14 year old girls don't play with dolls; they raise children. These girls are just as inseparable from their babies as western girls are from their barbies. So, by age 15 a girl is already a mother and knows how to take care of a home. And in a few short years, her daughter will be her best friend because their age difference is so small. Same goes for men and their sons.

[asiaticdarkperson]

I see a pattern emerging here.

Girls play with dolls which is like a simulation of playing with a baby.

Boys play video games like (what I used to play) Warcraft, World of Warcraft, GTA (the whole series) Civilization, Sim City, Commandos, etc etc. These games are all simulations of life.

So, our children are pretending to raise babies (who don't even grow, but that's when Tamagotchi came circa 1997) or they are pretending to live life as a warrior, a hunter or a politician, etc. in a video game, when they could actually be doing the real thing.

Our youth is wasted on playing with toys while they are basically the best years of our life. Let's face it, we all start to decline after 25.

And the rest of our youth is spent in environments that are basically life simulators; school.. is like an artificial environment that is a model of society. We spend 12 years in school to learn how to live in society. Then we are released into society.

This is brainwashing at its best I think.

[billthebutcher]

My grandmother was married at twelve or so, but her husband was much older. That was the pattern hereabouts, a hundred years ago. The Iranian model works only if

1. The two partners are approximately of the same age group.

2. The girl has the right to remarry if her husband dies.

3. Children are delayed until the couple is not just physically but psychologically ready for them and

4. The two of them are not denied access to education which they require to live in the modern world.

Behind the facade, I doubt you will find these "ideal arranged marriages" are very happy.

[asiaticdarkperson]

The norm in the rural areas of southeastern Iran is for the partners to be approximately the same age. But older men marry younger girls too.

And I don't understand what you mean by "the right to remarry" -- the woman here has the right to divorce if her husband is abusive. The right to remarry is simply a given.

I think couples will choose when to have children on their own. But the couples' parents are usually around and involved in raising their grandchildren.

I think today in Iran it's actually against the law to drop out of school before finishing 9th grade. Every child has to go to school as per law I believe.

I will attest that the system here is working. And you can hold me accountable on that.

[asiaticdarkperson]

and Bill I don't think anything can guarantee happiness. I only know a handful of truly happy people.. I imagine it's quite rare.

[billthebutcher]

I am talking about India, a hundred years ago, when widows couldn't remarry and woman had almost no access to education. If the law in Iran is as you say, that's better than the situation as it was in India and still is in the villages - but I still can't support child marriage in any form.

But then I'm 41 and divorced.

[asiaticdarkperson]

Well I don't see how it matters what you and I support or don't support.. the fact remains; plenty of 13 year old girls are getting married over here and plenty of 13 year old girls are having sex with multiple partners in the west.

My best friend used to say that younger boys were all about themselves, whereas she felt older men actually enjoyed pleasuring her.. she was 16. She was sleeping with a 30 year old guy. I felt sorry for her back then cause I thought the older dude was taking advantage of her, but I may have been a little jealous.. he never mistreated her.. Sometimes I even thought he was under her spell more than she was under his.. Today I can't really judge her for wanting to get fucked by older men..

I can't judge the older guy who liked sleeping with teen girls either. And I certainly can't judge the people over here when their intentions are so noble..

I really don't believe I'm in a position to say which is better or worse. But I can distinguish between beauty and ugliness, and I can distinguish between morality and immorality.

And I see nothing ugly or immoral about teens getting married.. this happens among the Amazonian "primitives" just as it happens over here and it is man's ancient tradition; our ancestors' culture untainted by the materialist capitalist worldview..

But I don't see any beauty in girls getting fucked like whores and treated like trash by an endless stream of random guys..

I really think that parents in the US have no idea what their kids are doing. If they knew that their 16 year old daughters had already fucked 50 guys.. I don't know how they would react.. I'm not sure they'd even want to know..

Seriously though what do we expect to happen when horny teen boys and girls go to the same school and they get flooded with sexual imagery constantly? What do you think kids are doing in high school? Saving their virginity for their husband/wife? Well, excuse me but LMAO!

I can't say I wish I hadn't had as much sex as I did before I was 18.. but I wouldn't have minded if I had a companion today so I wouldn't have to face the whole god damn world alone.. Suffice to say, all that sex got me nowhere and I'm just lucky I didn't get anyone pregnant and didn't get STDs myself..

[asiaticdarkperson]

I think it's ironic.. playing with dolls and action figures is essentially a form of masturbation.. what's ironic is how much teens masturbate these days

I remember in junior high sex ed the teacher, who was a ~40 year old woman, very enthusiastically encouraged all the kids to masturbate.. especially the boys. I swear one time she brought up the idea that boys and girls could sometimes masturbate eachother, ie. play with eachother's genitals as opposed to playing with their own.. she suggested this as an alternative to fucking.

She claimed that oral sex and "mutual masturbation" were safe and fun ways for teens to have sex without the risk of pregnancy..

All I can say is, masturbation and oral sex got old real fast and they were basically like sexual gateway drugs

[asiaticdarkperson]

and she assured the class that eating semen was completely healthy

[asiaticdarkperson]

But that wasn't even half as stupid as what's happening over here..

A few years ago in Tehran girls still believed that in order to find a suitable husband they had to keep their virginity.. this was basically how it was when the cultural transition started. So these girls all wanted to have sex, just not vaginal.. this resulted in a whole generation of girls engaging in plenty of anal sex and then getting married as virgins

Anyway, what happened to these girls was that they couldn't enjoy vaginal sex anymore and their partner had to stimulate them anally for them to get off.. I swear this is true. There's a whole generation of girls in Tehran (age 30-40) that actually enjoy getting their ass fucked.

deranged?

[asiaticdarkperson]

There's actually a word in Farsi for men or women who derive sexual pleasure from anal stimulation as opposed to genital stimulation; they're called "kooni"

In the west I've never come across such a thing, at least with girls. My experience has been that given the option, all women will choose vaginal sex. But this isn't necessarily so in Tehran.

I can think of a particular case that's even more bizarre though.. There was this girl who a FOAF dated for a month. This girl, cindy was canadian and she'd moved to the states when she was 10. So anyway, cindy demanded that my friend treat her like trash when they were having sex.. he had to genuinely mistreat her.

She liked being slapped and called things like "dirty whitetrash whore" she derived pleasure from being treated rough and made to feel absolutely worthless.

Apparently, she was raped when she was 17 and it had been quite brutal and traumatic.. it seems she had actually enjoyed it somehow and afterwards "normal" sex wasn't enjoyable for her anymore. She needed to feel like she was being raped to get off

The thing that really got her really hot was when my friend acted with total disregard for her feelings and treated her like a slave-girl

[karlsie]

Actually, Asi, i found your part about arranged marriages and the reasons for it, very interesting. Arranged marriages are not approved of here, and teenagers are discouraged from marrying early, but your statement. "These people believe that this way the couple will become playmates, friends and also lovers. They say that the couples usually establish such a deep bond as to be virtually unbreakable" struck a response in me.

Because we were a small, isolated community, we all grew up with favorite playmates with whom we have had long lasting bonds. Our parents did not want these bonds to mature too soon at too young an age, so they took steps to encourage young couples that were gravitating close together to learn more about the outside world before making commitments. These encouragements sometimes involved direct intervention between the playmates, hauling one away to summer school and another to a fish camp two hundred miles away, but usually simple peer pressure to widen their dating circles accomplished the break up. The odd part of it is, if you talk to any of the local people who had a favorite playmate of the opposite sex while growing up, yet drifted off to other affairs, you'll find there is still a kindling fire for their first love, one that no other relationship was ever able to completely extinguish. Perhaps our parents were unwise to interfere. I know a few people who married their childhood sweethearts and their marriages are still going strong, yet most of the ones who caved to experimenting with relationships outside their childhood circle have not had long lasting marriages.

[asiaticdarkperson]

Mar 4, 2012 20:04:18 GMT -5 karlsie said:

Actually, Asi, i found your part about arranged marriages and the reasons for it, very interesting.

Does this mean you thought the sex stuff was gross and inappropriate? ;D

If so, you see my point.. How is it that the act of making babies turns into the act of deriving sexual pleasure from anal stimulation? how is it that some derive sexual pleasure from being beat up until they're bruised all over and barely conscious?

[karlsie]

It's not that i find the "sex stuff" inappropriate. I just find it removed from my own experiences and my own cultural views. The one statement i could identify with was the bondage between playmates. My childhood playmate is also my blood brother. We were only ten and too nervous to cut our wrists to make our blood mingle, but we did cut our fingers and decided we had mingled enough to make it official. We went our separate ways after we became teenagers, but there is still a very special bond between us.

I believe if you suppress sexuality, all kinds of deviations are bound to occur. If you exploit sexuality, it cheapens and becomes meaningless. Sexual attractions are natural, but so is the let down of discovering the other person isn't attracted to you. Big boys accept this and so do big girls who have chosen to explore their sexuality. Putting a high price tag on virginity is plain arrogance. I agree with my daughter who chose when she would surrender her virginity and who she would surrender it to. Her reasons were private, strictly her own, and i think this should be the way it is for everyone.