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Post by grainnerhuad on Jan 4, 2013 15:25:41 GMT -5
Okay I want to say hello without giggling because some of your posts are giggle worthy. It does feel like an empty house that one expected to be full, as if you know someone is just around the corner...and still...where the hell is that person? I know I heard them! I'm sorry. I haven't been to the boards for a while. Subverisfy has been haveing growing and shrinking and growing pains. It feels like we are in a Wonda-esque factory. So all of our energy has been going to keeping things alive on the website and our own various for-pay projects. What we really need is to touch bases with reality now and then. For that I thank you for checking in and hanging around. It made me feel less crazy to see you here. Also we need writers who are excited to write and publish. Not just part-time blog folks who want to discuss thier pet peeves...so.....if you know of anyone? Or you have ideas....we would love them. Please do keep coming. I will be back.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 5, 2013 3:55:42 GMT -5
Thank you for the warm welcome Grainne. It means a lot. Could you do me one favor though? Delete the spam please?
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 5, 2013 4:27:02 GMT -5
This is more on the alien thing. ( www.realitysandwich.com/opti_and_i_0) What I want to add is that I am convinced that what makes us men; what separates us from other organisms on earth, is that we have an alien symbiote that lives in our mind. (not our brain, mind you) I have discovered that this alien entity taught language to our ancestors. This alien symbiote is not a physical entity. It does not live in our physical bodies like normal parasites; there is no way to isolate a certain part of the brain as the seat of the alien. Just like opticuswrangler stated, this alien entity lives in symbols, it is made of pure awareness and it feeds on our awareness. I believe without this entity we wouldn't have the faculty which we call the "psyche" or the mind. The mind was created by this entity as a safe place for it to live/hide. It hides behind thoughts and impulses.. There's a lot more to say here but just read through the whole thing. (Opti and I) The one thing I feel I should add is that it is about time we as a species kicked this symbiote out. We have language and we have a fully functional mind now, we don't need the parasite anymore. The fact that there are other people (outside of insane asylums) who are becoming aware of the parasite's existence on their own is very exciting to me. I am truly convinced that getting rid of this thing is our next evolutionary step. So there, it's out.. A grand declaration of war.
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Post by karlsie on Jan 5, 2013 6:42:57 GMT -5
Hey, Shh. What did happen? I'm not sure. Ever hang with a group, and every day it was good. Every day you were exactly where you wanted to be. Then, for one reason or another, you had to go away for awhile, and when you came back, the habit was broken. Maybe some of the other group had wandered off as well, or maybe you no longer quite feel part of the gang. You feel shy, more introverted, out of step.
I fell into a long, dark sleep, pulling the rest of what was left of 2012 over me. There in the darkness, there was no laughter, no sparkling wine, only the muttering drudgery of counting the days go by. But it is a new year, and with it, a new determination. I still fear to look over the horizon for the sun rising above it might not be real, but it's warmth I can't deny. It's a new era and perhaps this year, a whole new way of looking at things.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 5, 2013 12:35:48 GMT -5
I'm so glad you're back here Karla! This place just wouldn't be the same without you. I can sense that you're sad.. I wish you lots of good feelings, sincerely. (My wishes always come true. )
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Post by karlsie on Jan 5, 2013 20:13:45 GMT -5
Shh, I'm really glad to see you back. You bring a lot of energy with you. Of your parasitic entity... assuming that it's true; would it truly benefit humankind to be rid of it? There are symbiotic relationships between parasites and hosts in which each one benefits the other. If this parasite brought language, that is a great gift! Since mind is a complicated thing, far more complicated than brain, it could be difficult to measure just what this alien intruder has brought. Language also includes the symbols and fundamentals of mathematics. Considered Universal, theorists believe it is the basic groundwork of communications for encountering other sentient beings. How many artists and inventors have admitted they didn't know where their particular stroke of genius originated? Within the dwelling place of the ordinary, they were suddenly smitten by an outside force, a moment of clarity and enlightenment.
That we have a dual personage inside us, I have little doubt. When talking, or rather thinking, to myself, I split the dialog into two counterparts; "I" and "you". Even now, in the process of analyzing this distinction, one part of "me" questions, "why do you think in dualities?" The other part answers, "I don't know, but I can't seem to break the habit."
I have friends who believe our next stage of evolution will be as light beings. No longer in need of physical form, we will be bodies of mind feeding only on energy from the sun. They also believe there are already extra-dimensional aliens gathering to guide us into this next evolutionary stage.
Our perceptions don't truly know the answers yet. We are blocked by our fears of the unknown. We fortify our blockade with skepticism and doubt. Even in the moments of utmost clarity, we analyze afterward, preferring a solid three-dimensional view to this glimpse into the non-physical state of being without boundaries. We are taught that imagination isn't real, but it is imagination that leads to the greatest inventions of our creativity. Is the parasite serving as the blockade? Maybe, or maybe it's the one that is telling us to tear down the wall.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 6, 2013 1:58:38 GMT -5
karlsie, Here's some more on the aliens: (assuming that they are real, of course) subversify.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=lounge&action=display&thread=2360Also, I have a theory about the mind and what it is really doing for us. (Please note that I've been literally out of my mind more times than I can remember. So all I'm presenting is the difference I've perceived between a state of mind (which is what we call being sane and rational) and a state of no-mind, which is in effect like being an animal. (Edit: I think these terms might be Buddha's) So, what does the mind really do? I would say, it gives us the idea that we live in the world, day by day hour by hour. It gives us the idea that we are individual persons, each of us a different self. It keeps us sane and reasonable down-to-earth people. The mind is our cage, IMHO. I say this because there is no "world" out there and we are most definitely not selves; the world as we perceive it, and our idea of our self exist only in the human mind and nowhere else, as far as I can tell. In my experience, once the idea of self is overcome, the world will appear as it really is: an enormous flow of monumental proportions where there is nothing familiar because everything is changing every moment. (I've described this before, last year.) We believe we are individual persons, each with a name and history that defines us.. All this only exists as long as there is mind. The same goes for the world around us, as soon as the mind is dissolved the world goes poof! I'm sure you've experienced dreams. I would say that "the real world" is much closer to what we experience in dreams, that is infinite possibilities, eternities contained in single moments, no identity--no self-awareness; just pure awareness and being. The mind is not a bad thing. The nefarious purpose which it is being used for is horrible IMO. We are like cows, each of us in our cages, (e.g. think big cities with endless apartments that all look exactly the same) forced to follow the behavior patterns of those around us or else. Imagine a cow on an industrial dairy farm, suddenly realizing what is happening to it, the illusion of a safe "world" with plenty of food gone, the cow is free. It starts acting all wild! It might even try to escape the fake world he's been living in. Sadly, the cow has no hope afaic. But we are better than cows, albeit in the exact same situation. Who do you think taught us how to domesticate animals? If it was something people figured out a million years ago, why can't we figure it out today with all our super-technology?
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 6, 2013 4:54:34 GMT -5
What we really need is to touch bases with reality now and then. For that I thank you for checking in and hanging around. It made me feel less crazy to see you here. Also we need writers who are excited to write and publish. Not just part-time blog folks who want to discuss thier pet peeves...so.....if you know of anyone? Or you have ideas....we would love them. Grainne, I really wish I could write as well as you guys, you know like pros. But as far back as I can remember, writing has always been a spontaneous kind of thing for me. As far as I'm concerned, I have very little control over what I write. Like I could never pick a subject and write about it like everyone else does, whenever I try I end up with a bunch of crap that I'm ashamed to call my own. On the other hand, when I'm not really trying, it's like the words just come on their own. And what use is that? I'm afraid I'm not worth much as a writer. I remember the first time I had to write an essay for school. My mom wrote it for me and I just copied it down in my own handwriting. The teacher was so impressed that he gave me an A, and I was his favorite student for the rest of the year. Compared to my essay, the rest of the kids' seemed like rubbish. The teacher, Mr. S, thought I had a real talent for writing and I didn't want to let him down but my mom refused to write for me anymore, so for the rest of the year I kept pulling brilliant essays out of my ass. And I never really understood how I did it.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 6, 2013 8:25:25 GMT -5
So, a couple weeks back I was in those woods/park where that boy and girl almost got mugged and raped last year. I usually enter the place from the south side and I have to walk a good distance through the dark woods before getting to the lighted park area. So, just as I walked out of the forest cover into the actual park, four uniform guards armed with batons literally jumped on me.
At first they basically treated me like I was some thug, just because I came out of the woods at night. They searched me from top to bottom looking for drugs or weapons or anything else they could use to hand me over to the police. When they couldn't find anything illegal on my person, and they realized I was no thug, they explained that they were there for my protection and I shouldn't be in the woods alone at night. They said that just last week a five year old girl went missing in those very woods and was never found, and the week before that a young woman and her fiance were both assaulted and raped. They stressed that both of them were raped.
I didn't want to argue with them so I thanked them and got the hell out of there.
Then, again a couple nights ago I went back there but this time I made sure not to enter from the south because they told me not to, so I made a detour and walked into the woods on the west side. As soon as I entered the lighted area, the very same thing happened, except this time there was three of them and they were three different ones, and they looked really pissed like they were ready to beat the shit out of me and ask questions later.
I absolutely reeked of pot this time, and I had a couple of grams in my back pocket. So, I thought "Shit, I'm fucked."
One of the guards who seemed to be the superior, very nicely asked me "What were you doing in the woods?" He could obviously smell the pot, and that's probably why he was smirking at me. I just mumbled incoherently. So then he asked "Can you show me some ID?" I had none and I said as much. The guards gave eachother a strange look. At that point my heart rate went through the roof and I was just about to kick one of them and start running for dear life.
Right then, the one who appeared to be the boss, started to smile and said "For a pretty-boy like you.. It's very dangerous here at night, you know. What would you do if someone attacked you with a knife or pepper-sprayed you in the face?" I didn't know whether to feel relieved or offended, but I chose to keep my mouth shut cause I had a really big knife strapped to my belt inside my pants, not to mention the pot. So they escorted me up the hill to the center of the park where there was lots of people and told me to take care and good bye.
As of last year, carrying even a small knife in a city is a felony offense in Iran. And they've been cracking down on drugs like crazy. I really hate to think what would have happened if they'd patted me down.
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Post by karlsie on Jan 6, 2013 19:53:12 GMT -5
Good thing the guards decided they liked you! And too bad Iran is developing some zero tolerance laws. Alaska was always a tolerant area until the feds decided they couldn't tolerate it. Now, they swarm all over the place, harassing fishermen, gun owners, stoners and even legislators. They'll have an all out war on their hands if they start picking on people who carry knives. We all carry knives, right down to young kids, not for any gang worries but because we love to go camping.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 7, 2013 2:19:53 GMT -5
Hi karlsie. I hope you're feeling better.. So, at first glance it might appear that the government here is acting more totalitarian every year, which is the feeling I got after being ganged up on by a bunch of uniforms, twice. You know, like "who the fuck do they think they are?" But regarding this specific case, there's a bit more to add. Last winter, me and this buddy of mine, who moved to Canada last summer :/ .. anyway, we hung out at those woods pretty much all winter. More than a few nights, we were roaming about in there til morning. The only other inhabitants of those woods were a really scumbag-looking young drug dealer and his "crew" who were always there when he was there. They didn't seem like they were the dealer's friends just homeless and or jobless junkies who lived in the general area; they'd sit there and offer protection by mere fact of their numbers, and use for free, albeit very frugally. The dealer, who appeared to be either from Afghanistan, Khorasan or Sistan-Baluchistan--I couldn't tell for sure but he was definitely from the east-- had a sizeable supply of a dirty brown-colored heroin, crystal methamphetamine of the lowest possible quality, and crack-heroin (not crack-cocaine) His "camp" was located on the south-western edge of the woods, on top of a hill adjacent to the freeway. The spot (and their fire) had no visibility from the freeway and no one from the park would ever wander so far after dark, so they were all pretty safe. And business started every day at dusk and ended when there were no more paying customers. Most of his customers would buy their product and be on their way, but some of them would take it and walk off into the woods. The phrase that comes to my mind is "two worlds colliding." Up until a few years ago, this whole place was just one big empty forest + a walking trail and a basketball court on top of a hill, which the trail led to. But the City of Tehran decided to expand the trail, turn it into a lighted road where large trucks could come and go, and eventually after cutting numerous trees and removing/displacing a lot of earth, the whole north-eastern section of the woods became a constantly lighted parkland with a restaurant and a lot of other crap that would attract two types of people: people who want to jog/work out/exercise/play basketball (you know, the sporty bunch who wear matching adidas sweatpants and jacket) and couples who want to be somewhere private and romantic, alone together. The way society is in Tehran, the first group of people (the street junkies) aren't at all in direct contact with the people in the other two groups. (well, except when they mug them on the street) I can totally imagine what must have happened in those woods that resulted in like a hundred guards roaming around that place, totally prejudiced against anyone who comes out of the woods at night. I suppose the junkies (maybe the dealer and his crew too) must have realized that defenseless young boys and girl are going to be entering the most remote areas of the woods/hills all the time now. I'd say at least dozens of girls were probably assaulted and raped there (maybe even kidnapped) before someone noticed and decided to take action. The dealer isn't there anymore this year. And you'd have to be batshit crazy to be a thug or a junkie and go into those woods at night now. To be honest, I wouldn't mind living in a city where no one is armed and no one's fucked up on some crazy drug, like the one's that dealer used to sell.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 7, 2013 6:55:53 GMT -5
www.guardian.co.uk/music/2013/jan/07/justin-bieber-pot-smoking-allegations"While many of Bieber's fans dismissed the allegations, others expressed shock and sorrow. "Bieber, what are you doing? drugs? Please, stop it!" wrote one fan. Another Belieber beseeched the universe for answers: "Justin Bieber sigh why why why why did u do drugs."" What a bunch of brain-dead zombies. SAY KNOW TO DRUGS.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 7, 2013 9:17:48 GMT -5
Severe air pollution again this evening, rush hour is in full swing until 8pm. The entire city is gridlocked. Cars on Hemat highway are moving three inches per minute. The entire highway, which stretches from east to west of the whole city is jam-packed with cars, and so is every other major highway. And you don't even wanna think about going downtown, not even on the subway, which is always so incredibly over the max capacity that you could easily die of asphyxiation, let alone at this hour. No one ever does die though and that's all the more incredible.
Since I got here I've been feeling a lot of sadness. It's like depression and weariness permeate the air somehow. It really feels like a force that's constantly acting on me, trying to bring me down. I've been doing a lot of looking inside myself the past weeks and I just don't see any reason why I should be sad or depressed. I'm pretty convinced that this phenomena is limited to the city, because it sure as hell didn't exist out in the desert a month ago.
Completely enveloping the city, there's this definite orange-red buzzing in the air which seems to be emanating from everyone and everything. It's very annoying to say the least. And the never ending smog doesn't make things any easier.
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Post by karlsie on Jan 7, 2013 11:35:14 GMT -5
Other than chronic insomnia, I am starting to feel a little more positive, thank you. Part of the reason, I think, is that instead of wasting three or four hours laying in bed trying to sleep, I've simply surrendered to the idea that if I'm not going to sleep, I might as well stay up and do something constructive; the hell with the ungodly hour!
You've certainly put a perspective on what happened out in the woods! "Dirty" drugs do something to a person, something warped and confusing. Maybe it's because you're essentially poisoning yourself, both body and mind (there's that word again) instead of chemically altering your perceptions.
I think, in general, cities have a depressive nature to them, for a variety of reasons; crowded conditions, poor air quality, noise, a quickened pace that leaves you feeling that somehow you're always behind on the things you should be doing. They move down inside you with their unhappy expressions, their wants, desires, unfulfilled dreams. You feel it all; the homeless, the helpless, the frustrated businessman, the angry taxi driver, the indifferent salesperson. They rattle their little grievances almost imperceptibly in the air and follow you into your evening slumber.
Here, at my keyboard, I touch the cities, the countless millions and accuse that connection of contributing to my sleepless nights. They say the world has not ended, but that's a lie. It has ended and we are just the echoing aftermath playing over and over again the last lines. Behind that echo, that mighty explosion, another world slowly evolves into being, a world that is not dying but slowly awakening. It doesn't belong to us. We can't see it or touch it, our touch is too poisonous and our eyes are too blind. Our voices too loud to hear its birthing sighs. This is our depression, our realization that we have become all we can be yet we have failed to become all we were meant to be and are trapped in an aftermath that moves neither forward or back, just is, just is, like eternal waves lapping against the shore.
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Post by asiaticdarkperson on Jan 8, 2013 2:46:14 GMT -5
karlsie, do you have trouble falling asleep when you go to bed? Or do you wake up after a few hours and can't go back to sleep again? And do you experience RLS? (restless legs syndrome) or night flashes? Do you have high blood pressure? When you wake up in the middle of the night do you feel above average heart-rate? And what about head-aches? do you get them frequently?
Edit: You know you don't have to answer any of that if it makes you uncomfortable karlsie.
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