The Border Skirmish

[Beverly Strom]

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. This is Beverly Strom, your up to the minute g-net reporter, giving you the latest within our united world society. Burbanks reached the very difficult decision today of releasing a number of tigers, lions and leopards from the San Diego district zoo into the Barrens. Citing humanitarian purposes, the administrators explained that the desert-like aspects of the Barrens was far more compatible to the natural life styles of these African animals than remaining locked within a zoo cage. One official reported candidly that the funds generated by the zoo simply were not adequate enough to continue supporting the costs of food and water. Several other species of animals, including elephants and giraffes, were released into the Barrens three years ago, but there has been no indication that they survived.

In related news, Gliz star, Axel Missouri is celebrating his new release, The Agri Kings, with a swimming pool party for his fellow cast members, friends and family at his ocean front mansion in Glendale. Now there's some partying for you!

Speaking of parties, whatever your particular fantasy might be, whether its picnicking by the waters of a crystal clear lake, or taking a walk in a forest, Oasis is here to give you that fifteen minutes of hard earned vacation. Breathe the fine air of our oxygen. Enjoy the dripping moisture of a steam bath. Step into the world of the past with the world's finest holographic transmitters. All A-class membership cards will receive a free gift of one liter of Brazilian Treat bottled water at the end of each visit.

Today, KNAK news is taking you on a very special journey; inside the legislative chambers of the Democratic Global Council. A rumor was circulated late last night that a skirmish has sprung up along the corridor of the Tangle Lakes aqueduct system, located in Federal Alaska, although the Democratic Council has not confirmed it. Communications between the Northern Alliance and the Council collapsed when four weeks into a summit meeting in Esperanza, Venezuela resulted in a filibuster. It's been two months since the rogue countries that comprise the Alliance; Iceland, Canada, Greenland and the Alaska Republic, have spoken to other members of the cabinet. In the meantime, tensions build as citizens question the need for continued short water rations when our water tables have been re-building and evidence of spontaneous plant growth is evident in the more unpopulated areas. Could this be a conspiracy by the Alliance to shrink populations through water denial? This is Beverly Strom of KNAK, reporting the news for the Burbanks, Unilateral Broadcasting System.

[president Ting]

Representatives of the Council, we are at a critical apex within our negotiations for increased water rights for the densely urbanized populations. It has been brought to our notice that a number of countries have been making headway in their water conservation efforts and that their reserves of potable water has actually increased. The Peruvian Empire has increased its fresh water storage after a forty six kilometer Antarctic shelf caved into the ocean last week. The water recapturing was efficiently conducted with very little wasted to sea flow, but their cautions are grim. Any more tapping into this reserve before the shelf has a chance to re-stabilize itself could result in massive caving such as was evidenced by Cape Ann in 2024, when the resulting flood waters destroyed much of Malaysia and New Guinea.

We have the capacity to channel more water into the urban areas. This will gain a higher quality of life and more contentment among the populace. We all need to look critically and morally at this question and ask ourselves; are the water rich countries holding back because they wish to create a more balanced eco-system, or because they stand to make more profit by feeding us a line of continued water bankruptcy? It is the voice of the people that demands equal water rights for everyone. They want it now.

[Pres. Vladimir Novogrod]

Madame President, this people you have; this people, they are children. They want what they can not have, what isn't theirs. They stamp their feet and throw tantrums like spoiled babies. Your people doesn't know what's good for them, what they need. They think to themselves, oh! We have lived this terrible life for so long, we think it's time we don't have to do this anymore.

Now we Russians. We live a terrible life. It is our way. We know that to live is terrible, but live, we must. Come winter, maybe there isn't so much; maybe some potatoes and some wheat to grind into bread. Maybe we think to ourselves, it would be nice to have a little fruit, a piece of ham. But do we beat down the doors of Cascadia, demanding fruit? Do we hold the Confederacy of America hostage for pigs? We are Russian. We eat our potato and our bread and think maybe we don't have so much today. Maybe we won't have much tomorrow, but we see our country returning. Our country is being fed. It will grow for us our pigs and fruit.

My sources tell me that the Indo-China mercantile fleet did much to help the Peruvian corporation re-capture the water of the Antarctic Shelf, and for your services, charged seven percent of the profits. What did you do with your little ice berg? Your people want water. You have water. Russia cannot help you anymore than she has.

[President Troyal Barker]

Well it sounds to me, and this is just me talking, you understand, that Russia is catering too much to the Northern Alliance. Well I have news for you, Vladimir. The Northern Alliance is not your friend. The Northern Alliance has crossed the line of decency. They are holding a natural resource as hostage. They are attempting to take over the world and form some sort of fascistic government. Maybe Russia is okay with that, but Democratic countries are not okay with that.

And you talk about pigs like it's a joke, but I tell you what, pigs have earned a reputation in the Confederate States as well as our South American allies. It's true that pigs, boars especially, have less water requirements than any other harvested animal. Yes, obviously, many countries have talked to us about the prospect of harvesting pork products, since we could all benefit from the pigs' fantastic metabolism. This is just one of the real America's resources. Renewable energy, meat, agriculture, you name it we got it.

That said, I want to remind people to hold their horses. I don't want what I said to be misconstrued. Pigs aren't the miracle animal, they're not camels. The water requirements of pigs differ according to environment and the physical health of the animal, and other factors like age and body weight. Basically, water demand increases in proportion to the crude protein of the pig's diet. And there are variables there, like lactating sows, sickly sows and pigs fed pellet diets instead of little pig meals.

Anyway my point is, I don't like this mentality that suggests that because we have an abundance of boars to give to the world, we should understand where the Northern Alliance is coming from. No, see it doesn't work that way. If the world depended on our pigs, well sure we'd pass them around. We don't want to be a hog about our resources, right? (Laughs) But see, we wouldn't try and dictate what countries can or can't do. That's not the definition of giving, that's the definition of ransoming property. That's extortion, duplicity and provocation for war.

And on that subject, there's another issue I'd like to touch on. I think the Northern Alliance is getting too big of a head for their own neck, when it comes to water. Remember that though resources are low, and the world economy is shaking, that doesn't mean we don't have access to money. The global community.

We could create water if worse came to worse, that is, if the Northern Alliance tried to starve us into a holocaust-like situation. It may be more expensive to create water through combustion but it's sure cheaper than starving of thirst. We get together and build some hydrogen gas, we could make more water. We need more hydrogen gas from outside the planet or by extraction. Oh yeah, it's going to cost a butt load of money. And to be honest, no it isn't cost feasible.

But you see it's the choices we have to make to save our world from fascist rule. If we can't recycle water because of one party's demand, we have to explore other options. So guess what? We all have to pay up. Can we afford it? No. Can we afford the Northern Alliance's demands? Absolutely not. Can we afford to go to war over recyclable water? Well, I guess that's up to the global council.

But one thing's for sure. We're not going to let a tiny country with a few ice bergs in its pockets push us around.

[President Sal Stafford]

Well I'm not sure exactly what the southern states are saying. Even if we could afford a massive world-united, restorative water project, there's no guarantee that the water would be safe. Or that it would make for a lasting resource. I don't want to make it seem like we're catering to the Northern Alliance. But we have to be realistic here. We want to reach a peaceful resolution that sees free trade of water resources, recyclable water.

What good would it be going to war and killing off a third of the population for something that could freely distributed through negotiation? The Northern Alliance must open its eyes and view the suffering its decisions are bringing to others. I have no doubt that President Vandeweerd can be reached with logic and understanding. That is the American way... it always has been.

[Pres. Vladimir Novogrod]

Mr. President of Texas, I will ignore your disrespect for title as you are young and hasty. Russia speaks for nobody but Russia. I see on my left, the working class people; the proletariat that made Russia so great. I see on my right, well-fed, well-dressed businessmen claiming they need more water. What do they do with the water we give them? Why are their reservoirs always empty? This is a question I ask myself.

You think I make joke about pigs? Russia does not joke about food. If one Russian is hungry, all Russians are hungry. We look at the little fishes in the lakes and we ask, "are there enough fishes for everyone to have one?" If the answer is no, nobody eats the fishes. We wait.

Yes, it's true, Iceland is little country, but a little country that used fuel cells twenty years ahead of all of us. We have repaid our debt for this technology, but we see no reason to pick a fight with Iceland. Iceland is protected by Denmark. If Denmark steps in, so will all the Scandinavian countries. Can Western Europe afford this? Can we afford this on our borders? Russia says no.

[klaus Vandeweerd]

Esteemed members of the Council, President Ting, this Democracy of Nations was first brought together by a common accord; an International crisis. The Pebble Mines disaster contaminated waterways as far as the Gulf of Mexico. The massive calving of the Antarctic Ice Shelf and the glacial spills within the Arctic regions consumed coastlines on a global scale, submerging a number of islands and flooding the rivers with pollution and saline content. Around the world, overused aquifers had run dry.

We gathered together to affect solutions for a dying world. Many advancements have been made in the recovery process. We now have areas that were once stripped bare that are starting to grow greenery again. We have full reservoirs, clean rivers and lakes. But what once had been the world's bread baskets still do not have water in their aquifers. They are barren, desolate, depleted. Until this balance is restored, we must continue to conserve.

President Stafford, you say you advocate peaceful solutions, yet I speak to you under duress. My country and members of the Alliance have been threatened with aggressive action. The blockade against Greenland continues, with pirate fleets invading its territorial waters. The Republic of Alaska is under attack.

We've given our time and our technology to the peaceful settlement of the global crisis. We've made compromise after compromise, sacrificing precious resources in the interest of the common good. We have no sacrifices left we can give without promoting our own ruin. We have no more compromises we can make without compromising our own integrity. If there are compromises to be made, then let them be made by the co-dependents of our resources. Remove your claims to federal jurisdiction in Alaska, President Stafford. President Barker, content yourself with your alliance with Mexico that benefits from the support of the Peruvian Empire. You must have found yourself a tidy little nest egg with the last calving of the Antarctic ice shelf. It's fortunate that ships were there to harvest it in time, yet I reprimand the Peruvian Empire for not taking precautions to guarantee their extraction procedures did not result in another fracturing of the Antarctic ice field.

[Tobias Oyagak]

Honorable Representatives, much has been said today that has great merit. We are a Global congress of separate City States united by the simple truth that our Mother Earth has suffered grave and near terminal injuries; injuries inflicted by the policies of Nations that are now, by necessity and force, wiped from the face of the planet. We are, as Representative Novogrod stated, children who each wish to be the king of the hill. If we continue along this thought process, we will defeat the purpose of our negotiations.

Many say that The Northern delegate City States are holding vital water resources as hostage; this is far from the truth! As our planet slowly recovers, a process that will take generations upon generations, we must remember that our Mother Earth needs her pure water as well. We simply cannot remove water resources from our planetary environment when she is trying to wash herself clean. To do so would arrest her ability to support all forms of life.

Due to pollution and environmental assassination, most of our oceans have lost the ability to support simple zooplankton. We all know that zooplankton and other forms of alga contribute over 80% of the free oxygen in the atmosphere. As the forests of the world decline we will find ourselves in an even greater need. When the ocean alga collapses, an eminent forecast if we continue to disrupt the healing of our planet, the little remaining forests will not be able to produce the oxygen that all need. How shall we then bicker, to whom will the last gasps of oxygen go?

Our eyes and mind set must be for the future, we must support the only environment that can and will support us. We all must make sacrifices. Even though the Alaska Corporation, as many of you claim, is water rich, we still ration our water supplies. We, by choice, take in no more water in our daily consumption than the hardest hit areas in water bankruptcy. We suffer no less than……….

[An attaché of Alaska Corporation approaches Senator Oyagak and hands a hastily folded parchment to him.]

Yes, yes Rita, this is not the time. [Tobias speaks in a fatherly voice.]

[The attaché clears her throat in deliberate loudness and nods to the parchment with a serious look of need.]

[Senator Oyagak unfolds the parchment, and as he reads, he begins to tremble violently. Tears of rage blur his vision and his skin ashens to a pale color, a color that marks the heritage of Caucasians, a very unhealthy look for a person of pure native bloodline.]

The seals of the Fairbanks repository have been broken!!!! [Senator Oyagak screams at everyone and no one.]

Children of the Alaska Corporation have been murdered by Senate controlled weapons of death!!

[Senator Oyagak crushes the parchment in his hand into the shape of an hourglass. In his unbridled rage he turns in a 360 degree arch trying to ascertain who is responsible, and finally his eyes settle on President Ting. Never in his life has Tobias Oyagak set such a glare onto another living being, a glare that even Medusa herself would have difficulty recreating. He shakes his fist with the ruined parchment at President Ting and speaks in a controlled voice that infers he carries the wrath of God on the tip of his tongue.]

YOU! YOU! You wretched Bitch!!! Only you could have authorized the use of skirmish negotiations! Who has bribed you!? It matters little! You knew the consequences of this action! To Hell with the lot of you!!! I have foretold the consequences of spilling Alaska Corporation blood!


[Tobias Oyagak turns on his heels; he grabs the title placard on his reserved seating table in mid turn and smashes it on the floor. If rage were a form of radiation, every single person in the assembly hall would have been dead from the lethal doses emanating from Tobias. As he exits from the assembly chamber Tobias voices his rage in a curse of hatred.]

May you all drown in your own thirst, and may your graves be shallow and unvisited!

[Beverly Strom]

Congressman Oyagak! (runs after his retreating back, madia scan held high) A few questions, Congressman Oyagak! What was the meaning of your statement today? Has a border skirmish, in fact, begun in federal Alaska? Who has provoked the attack? Were there any illegal weapons used?

People of the free democratic nations, this is a day to go down in history. The representative for the Alaskan Republic is walking out. The Senate is in an uproar. I believe President Ting is trying to establish the council back to order. We'll hear what she has to say after a word from our sponsors, but first, remember folk. Hydra Glo has the best emissions collectors for fuel cell efficiency. Now, with advanced technology, you not only save a full liter more per cyclic review, you are equipped with the latest anti-theft exhaust mounts. Congressman Oyagak, what was the meaning of your statement concerning the Fairbanks Depository? Isn't this the seat of jurisdiction within Federalist Alaska?

[Tobias Oyagak]

Ms. Strom,

I will make no comments today other than a great tragedy has occurred. If you seek an interview from either myself or other representatives of Alaska Corporation, you must come to Alaska Corporation soil. Good day!

[Beverly Strom]

Thank you sir, for your time. While KNAK news isn't scheduled to visit Alaskan soil any time soon, we're still here to cover the developments of the democratic global council. The floor is electrifying as Presidents, Congressmen and other acting representatives demand to know what has just happened. Apparently, it has been confirmed that a skirmish has begun in Federal Alaska. Klaus Vandeweerd, the Congressional representative of Iceland, has taken the stand.

[klaus Vandeweerd]

Members of the council, I plead with you. A great error; a great wrong has been committed. I have verification that Corporate Alaska is under attack by skirmish provocateurs. The status of the Greeley installation is at level orange alert with press go troops moving into range on the Delta Junction divide. Alaskan blood has been shed. Who authorized these attacks? President Ting, as leading representative of the democratic council, it is your duty to tell us everything you know concerning this violation of contract. The Eastern guard will not take Alaska by force. We will not idly sit by and allow their invasion. If they are responsible; if you, President Stafford, are responsible, if the Democratic Council has in any way contributed to or aided and abetted the border skirmish, the terms of the treaty are broken.

[president Ting]

This council has been patient; very patient with the outlandish outbursts and accusations of the Alaskan Corporate Executive, Congressman Vandeweerd. There has been no official report of skirmish engagement, and until we see that report, whatever is said is pure speculation. May I further remind you that you were the one who first expressed hostilities, threatening war against the Eastern United States for utilizing territories already in their possession. I feel you wish to supersede the Council. You wish to remove federal jurisdiction without democratic vote. You accuse us of being involved in a skirmish war we know nothing about. If you have a legitimate complaint, set an example for your country men, and send it through the proper channels. We're not endeavoring to create a tea party of neighborhood gossip. We all wish to know the truth of the matter, but we can't know anything until we have proof.

[President Troyal Barker]

(Outside in the press room)
Well, it looks like karma just ran over Alaska's dogma. (Laughs) I got to say, tragedy always seems to strike after someone gets too selfish. I guess you could consider that as God's way of humbling certain people. My granddaddy always used to tell me that selfish people always end up hurting themselves more than anyone else. You try and hold something as precious as water hostage, the resource of God, the gift of God? You better believe the Holy One is not going to let that slide. That's not "water under the bridge", my friends. That's the universal lesson of sharing.

Not that I don't feel sympathy for the Alaskan people and the Icelandic people and the Canadians and whatever other cold-blooded people there are in the northern alliance. But tragedy always befalls a major moral sin. As for Oyagak's outburst, well, obviously he is a very desperate man. Perhaps he senses that his time is running out. When you're talking about world peace and everlasting diplomacy there has to be some sacrifices. It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's something we all have to learn eventually.

If you'll excuse me, I got to get back to the council.

[President Sal Stafford]

Well, I'd like to send my condolences to the Northern Alliance. Obviously, these were terrorist actions. They are not approved by the Federal Government of the States. I would like to extend my hand to the Northern Alliance. Hopefully, we can all learn something from this tragedy. The solution to this global crisis is not in violence, not in terrorist actions. We should unite in light of this criminal action. Our resources are available to the people of Alaska.